For years I’ve been drawn to the books by American psychologist and researcher Elaine Aron, who coined the term HSP – “Highly Sensitive Person”. The name means, in general terms, a person with a sensitive nervous system – in varying ways and to varying degrees.
In me, this characteristic is quite evident.
In my 41 years of life, many events, with difficult consequences, could have led me to take more special care of my nervous system, thus improving my quality of life. But it was only the birth of my daughter two and a half years ago that brought me face to face with my high sensitivity. And this was triply challenging because, from that moment on, I would have to change two flat tires on my car while driving it: it was (and always will be) necessary not only to (1) re-educate my mind-body for myself, but also (2) learn how to mother as a highly sensitive mother while (3) learning how to take care of a highly sensitive daughter: as I intuited very early on, my daughter has this characteristic.
With this, I decided that the starting point for this research and communication work on sensitivity, in its many – perhaps infinite – aspects and possibilities, would be the point at which my daughter, now two years old, began her life in this world that is too oppressive for people like us. It’s a beginning that speaks of caring for her, that is, for children. This text, part 1 of 3, aims to help mothers, fathers, caregivers, educators… who are wondering if their child has this characteristic or who, suspecting that she is very sensitive, need advice on where to start caring for this special little being.
First of all, I suggest you take a look at yourself: do you have this trait? According to Dr. Aron, 20% of the world’s population has it. This self-investigation seems to me to be indispensable for any caregiver of children, because the caregiver’s high sensitivity can be a great challenge (and also, if well directed, a great ally) in this crucial task. I recommend that you go directly to the source, i.e. Dr. Aron’s website, where she offers both the self-test and the test for children: here.
At the beginning of this journey of caring for my special sensitivity and that of my daughter, in addition to Dr. Aron, I am relying on other authors – subjects for many other texts – and on the support of some therapists. One of them, Gaby Trujillo, is an occupational therapist – a professional who is a great ally of the caregiver (highly sensitive or not) of the highly sensitive child. With Gaby, I was able to start intervening more objectively in the needs of my daughter’s nervous system, while gradually learning about my own needs and ways of meeting them.
Gaby agreed to answer some basic questions on the subject, which can guide you as you begin to explore your potentially highly sensitive circumstances.
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Question: How can you describe a highly sensitive person?
Answer: Based on my experience, they are people who have a particular way of processing sensory information, which is much deeper, so they tend to perceive events, sensations, pain, emotions and so on in a profound way. This makes them able to integrate the different variables of a situation, because the trait makes them much more empathetic – when they are able to process and manage their emotions. The trait is directly related to their nervous system.
Q: Are highly sensitive children born this way or do they become so?
A: Sensory processing is a physiological aspect of being human, so each of us is born with a way of processing information. The environment and the individual combine to facilitate the regulation of this child, who is born, grows and develops according to these conditions.
Q: How can we detect the trait of high sensitivity in a child?
A: By observing them. In a session with a highly sensitive child, I can notice, for example, that they take longer to process responses, whether through gestures, behaviors, attitudes… I observe how they think in the meantime. There are also some clinical indicators that I observe in terms of skin, muscle tone, temperament and so on.
Q: Which professionals can help mothers and fathers take care of their very sensitive children, providing them with guidance and tools?
A: Occupational therapists specializing in sensory integration, psychologists or psychiatrists specializing in somatic experiences.
Q: Is there a minimum or maximum age of intervention for the care of a highly sensitive child to be effective, in order to provide them with a good quality of life?
A: In the first 6 years of life our brain is being formed, so all the experiences a person has during those years will form the basis of their brain structures, behavior patterns, ways of reacting, regulating themselves, among others. Any intervention is always better the earlier it starts. In any case, the moment a person decides to consult is the best moment.
Q: It’s common for a sensitive child to have parents who are highly sensitive. What advice do you have for these parents in terms of self-care?
A: That these caregivers read up on Sensory Integration, learn about high sensitivity, because untreated high sensitivity generates anxiety problems when people are adults (this is something that has been scientifically proven). So if you also have children with hypersensitivity, it’s difficult to teach them how to deal with it too. It’s also possible to accompany them with a specialist who can help them with their needs while they develop internal resources to support themselves.
You can follow Gaby on her Instagram profile.
The High Sensitivity Potential 